Thursday, October 20, 2016

The only thing that can make Fear become irrelevant | Coaching People towards maximizing their potential & results

The only thing that can make Fear become irrelevant | Coaching People towards maximizing their potential & results:

I’ve often said that my only fear is that of the dentist. Not true. Since the beginning of my life, I’ve had many fears, starting from the fear of darkness, failing exams, failing basketball shots, failing relationships, fear of what others say or think about me, fear of not providing my family with everything we need and I can go on.
Science says when faced with something I fear, I should react within the automatic system of The fight-or-flight response: the fight-or-flight response (also called hyperarousal, or the acute stress response) is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival.
Basically, in reaction to a threatening situation, I can DO 2 different things: fight or run. Please notice that both of this options are actions. Most of the times, I fought. However, what we see in real life is often a different story.
As a coach, I encounter many people that are faced with challenges, obstacles, crossroads, etc. Some of them are doing something to overcome them and are moving on. Others, though, are not doing anything, because they are afraid of the consequences of their actions. But isn’t that exactly contrary to the natural response we are supposed to comply with? As mentioned above, the natural response should be to take action when we are afraid. Paradoxical, right?
I believe we should be more worried of what happens if we don’t take action when we fear something, rather than what happens if we take action. Here’s why:
Let’s say fear is a monster. Like any monster, it needs energy to manifest. Because it’s a personal monster, each monster is fed my the owner of the fear. To have its energy, it must be fed with something. There are two major food categories that fuels this monster: not taking action at all and postponing action or procrastination.
The first scenario, not taking any action is useless because the fear is still there, it doesn’t just disappear. It’s just like being in front of a ferocious predator, a lion or a crocodile that’s preparing to eat you and you just sit there, hoping it will change it’s mind or a miracle will happen and make it vanish in thin air. You need to take action, fight or flight.
Secondly, postponing an action is also not useful. This option fuels the beast even more, thus making it bigger and more powerful. Not only that is doesn’t go away, but the longer you wait to do something, the more chances you have to remain stuck in the situation you are. As Isaac Newton said: “The vis insita, or innate force of matter, is a power of resisting by which every body, as much as in it lies, endeavors to preserve its present state, whether it be of rest or of moving uniformly forward in a straight line.”
Therefore, is you are stuck and don’t do anything about it, even the laws of physics tell that you tend to preserve this current state. If, instead, you start moving by taking action, you will tend to preserve moving.
Taking action is the only way to change anything, thus confronting your fear, as well.
My greatest fear has always been to reach the end of my physical life and discovering that I didn’t do enough to reach my potential. I believe if I can imagine I can become great and make a major impact in many people’s lifes it’s because I know it’s possible, otherwise I couldn’t have imagined it. So I’m taking action every single day to make sure I make my monster weaker and at some point, destroy it for good.
If you can also imagine a substantially different future for yourself, then I recommend you do something about it right now. Moreover, I am here to support and accompany your breakthrough.
Da la TRANDAFIRESCU!

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